Ta Da! Shedward is no longer a shed. Well, actually, he is but he belongs to my nephew Semtex now. Shedward the blog has gone up in the world. I have moved to a house less than two minutes walk from Shedward and I now live quietly with my dog Eric – and Semtex who seems to have come with me. I do try to send him home but his mother says ‘No, no, I don’t mind if he stays with you …’
The attraction of my little house is the attic where the previous occupants have created three small rooms. Semtex spent the first two nights sleeping in the largest of them and is not pleased that I’ve put my desk up there. To keep the peace, I have acceded to some of his demands and he now has shelving space in my bedroom to keep his change of clothes in and I have a number of plastic guns in the attic for when he is fulfilling his duties as a part-time sniper. His main target is the kid’s play-park next door. He can open the window, spy on his peers and shoot them if he’s of a mind to. Occasionally, he does play football in the park with his friends. I never open the window and shoot at him, honest.
Now that he is the new resident of Shedward, Semtex spends time there writing his pastiche of The Hunger Games. I choose to believe that the hours spent wearing my bluetooth headset, talking to the rest of his troop (in his imagination – the headset is not connected) and murdering passersby is research for his story The Gun Games. What does it say about me that the inside of an eleven-year-old boy’s head is not a mystery to me – except … I’d dearly like to know how it is that he always thrashes me at Frustration? Anyway, I’m on the lookout for a bedroll for when he wants sleep in the attic. And, I apparently have to get him a desk for his shed to make up for taking my desk, Mr Disraeli, away.
Being in a rural area means that, though there are a few houses in the way, I have wonderful views from every window, especially the attic ones. I look forward to spending a night up there but for now I’ll stick to my bed. I’m not as resilient as I was and, besides, Eric can’t get up the ladder.
I’ll have to wait until there’s another grown-up in the house to mollify Eric and until I can find a super-thick, warm and comfortable bedroll to support old bones.
Oblivious to all of this, Eric is happy in his new home and spends his time trying to keep Semtex off the sofa.
So much for the quiet life. Still, even dogs and boys have to sleep (and, boy, can Eric snore) and when they do I’ll climb the ladder to my new Shedward. I have no excuse now, I have the place and the space in my life to get writing and, in a land where your ‘shed’ is a euphemism for your mind, I will feel no guilt in continuing to call this blog Shedward. From my mind to yours, you are as welcome to share my words as Semtex and Eric are to share my home. Onwards and upwards.