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Fed Up, ****** Off and Far From Happy

10 Oct

What sad, desperate daydreams have filled my head today.

I’ve been thinking about university – my tutors, my fellow students – and missing it all. I didn’t want it to end. I didn’t enrol just to get an MA. I wanted to learn, to listen, to mix with other writers and make contact with people who could sustain me after the course.

Well, I got my MA so, obviously I did listen and I did learn but now the course is over. I had to move away before I graduated, meaning that I left behind my fledgling acquaintance with a literary society. I don’t mix with writers now. I’m under intense financial pressure (I can’t even afford ink for my printer) and my office is becoming a place to dump stuff (Currently it’s occupied by a large papier-mâché statue from my nephew’s school – long story). How the hell can I get ahead?

It’s pointless to wish I could turn back the clock to my first day at uni but …

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7 Comments

Posted by on October 10, 2012 in Struggling Writers

 

Tags: , , , ,

7 responses to “Fed Up, ****** Off and Far From Happy

  1. Observer 40

    October 11, 2012 at 12:11 pm

    For one thing you can make contact with like minded colleges on line there are a number of websites.
    You can retake possession of your shed clean it out and give it an atmosphere of comfort and creativity it is after all your space your word factory.
    You can accept that this phase of depression that you are going through is just that a phase and it WILL pass. I’m sure Will S, Agatha C, Mark T, Nicholas M, Jack L, J.K.R. etc etc etc all went through similar phases.
    You have an MA in creative writing USE IT get your name out there offer to give (paid) advice and coaching to other embryonic talents who knows at least it may buy the ink for the printer ! !
    Remember we can’t ever go back life always moves forward.
    Always remember :- DON’T LOOK FOR THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL
    STRIDE DOWN THERE AND TURN THE BLOODY THING ON
    YOURSELF.
    Good luck.

     
    • Lorraine Gouland

      October 11, 2012 at 10:13 pm

      Thank you for your comment. I especially liked the bit about the light at the end of the tunnel. That made me laugh out loud – thank you.

       
  2. mike@ekim.me.uk

    October 17, 2012 at 4:42 pm

    You can’t leave us behind so easily, Ms Banarnie. I think we all feel much the same, the course was over way too quickly, but we’re all just at the other end of an email and we can pull each other toXXXXXX I mean offer valuable critical commentary and insght just as easily from a distance. The main thing is keep writing. Mike

     
    • Lorraine Gouland

      October 17, 2012 at 10:34 pm

      So there you are! How are things going with you? I hope you are still plugging away. You must have your result by now?

       
      • mike@ekim.me.uk

        October 26, 2012 at 7:19 pm

        I’ve had the MA award letter but we don’t graduate until beginning of 2013. Other than that I’m fine. I’ve accidentally found myself getting paid to read scripts for a pro theatre. Now I know why they call them slush piles 🙂

         
      • Lorraine Gouland

        October 27, 2012 at 8:36 pm

        Well congratulations Mr MA! And also on being paid to read. Nice one. How’s your own writing going?

         

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