Ship’s Officer Killed in Paper Avalanche

27 Apr

OK, not really but it is only a matter of time. Or I may finally lose the last of my marbles and beat myself into a coma with a ring binder.

I know that since Health and Safety (and our litigious culture) arrived, the world has gone increasing checklist mad, but really. My last ship was bad enough but this one is hurting my brain. Never before have I spent so much of my day moving pointless bits of paper from one place to another AND then filling out forms to say what I have moved, where I have moved it to, and then filing the bloody form.

If I draw a line on a chart, I have to fill in a form. When I take over the watch on the Bridge, I have to fill in a form.

Has anyone out there considered what all these sheets of paper must weigh? And what effect they may have on a vessel’s stability criteria?

Has an on board filing system ever caused a ship to capsize? We should be told.


Posted by on April 27, 2012 in Uncategorized


2 responses to “Ship’s Officer Killed in Paper Avalanche

  1. John

    April 28, 2012 at 6:42 am

    You don’t understand the system. The people who run ships from a desk are very very intelligent; people on ships are very dim, nearly idiots. The very bright people in the office have determined that the only way to make sure that their ships are run properly, like they would if they weren’t sitting behind a desk and going home every night, is to tell the dim ship people how to do their job. And as they are a long long way away from the ships they need to know that the idiots on the ship are doing it they way the office people want. So they make lots of procedures and protocols and stick them in folders, the kind that are endangering your health, and make us dim ones say that we have read them all, Then get us to fill out lots more paper stating that we have done everything properly by the book. Now then something happens on the ship that isn’t in the book, and everyone gets into a bit of a spin because years ago we gave up doing things by initiative and the people in the office get scared in case they tell us on the ship to do something that they can be held to account for and the ship people have been indoctrinated into doing everything by the book and look to the office a thousand miles away to help them and not much happens but another forest dies. And this story goes on all over the place.

    • Lorraine Gouland

      April 28, 2012 at 2:22 pm

      Oh! Now I understand! I am clearly too dim to have realised. Thank Heavens for all those people behind their desks, thousands of miles away. Especially those poor, unappreciated Safety DPAs eh, John?


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